When I held my business license for the first time, I expectedly felt joy, excitement, fulfillment, and thrill. What I didn’t anticipate was a sinking feeling in my stomach. Opening a business was a lifelong dream of mine, I studied business in college, and continued in entrepreneurship programs in law school, so why was the anxiety, imposter syndrome, and shame so strong? 

The first time I told someone that I wanted to start a business, I was 16. My mentor at the time enthusiastically supported my dreams. She listened patiently as I excitedly shared my idea for a local craft boutique. Crafting is a lifelong hobby of mine and at the time I made custom bracelets, hair accessories, and bows for my friends and family. As we walked through a local craft store together, surrounded by happy customers, custom lap desks, and every kind of craft supply I could think of, I realized the deeper purpose I wanted from a business—a chance to use my creativity to help others. 

For the thirteen years following that moment, my dream of launching a business moved to the back of my mind as I pursued my degrees and career. Working part-time during college, I saw the differences between working at small local businesses and national corporations. Through law school, I learned to make a difference through policy work at national nonprofits. Starting a consulting business felt like a natural next step. 

Navigating government forms, financial planning, and building out service lists each brought their own set of challenges. No amount of education could have prepared me for the self-sabotage my brain conjured up for my big moment. Gentleness and self-care have been my greatest resources during this time. In addition to the invaluable support from family and friends, several books have allowed me to navigate this journey with mindfulness, gratitude, and self-assurance. 

Hardwiring Happiness: The New Brain Science of Contentment, Calm, and Confidence by Rick Hanson discusses how human brains are wired to focus on negative experiences and offers an alternative framework for consciously embracing moments of warmth, connection, and joy. When I read Hardwiring Happiness in 2021, I had no idea how much the simple act of absorbing the good from the world around me would improve my well-being and mental health. Of all the insights I gained from this book, I most appreciate the message that by sharing our goals and future expectations with trusted loved ones, we are not setting ourselves up for embarrassment or humiliation. 

Before reading Hardwiring Happiness, I imagined that by voicing my hopes aloud, I was setting myself up for failure. Reframing my inner dialogue first required accepting that challenges are a part of life. By sharing our hopes and goals with others, we invite opportunities for connection and carve space for both ourselves and those around us to live more authentically. 

Conquering Your Critical Inner Voice by Robert W. Firestone, Lisa Firestone, and Joyce Catlett dives deep into the horror stories our subconscious supplies us in its quest for self-preservation. Rather than protecting us, critical inner voices disconnect us from our true self. Like many people, I imagined that reaching certain academic or career milestones would suddenly change the way I saw myself. Working through negative ideations often brings up our most sensitive inner parts. 

Conquering Your Critical Inner Voice discusses not only the common themes across negative self-talk, but also explains how various stress responses impact our success by holding us back from being our full authentic selves. Likewise, when we notice the often unattainable standards many of us hold for ourselves, we more accurately see the way colleagues, friends, and family help and hinder us from living our best lives. 

I Thought it Was Just Me (But it Isn’t) and The Gifts of Imperfection by Brené Brown explore the ways that shame silently impacts the ways we view ourselves and others. Brown advocates for harnessing vulnerability and authenticity as powerful tools that connect us with others, rather than giving into the negative thoughts that inhibit growth and support. 

Even more than business or law school, each of these books made a marked impact on my self-esteem. Understanding that I was not alone in my doubts lowers my anxiety and allows me to build more authentic and reciprocal relationships. Embarking on my new business journey has been both challenging and rewarding, and I am beyond grateful for the wisdom of the many authors, mentors, and friends whose openness helped me build more compassion for myself.